We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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