Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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