The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
