google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
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