He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
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i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
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I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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