just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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