Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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