I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
