my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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