do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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