is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
