dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
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Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
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Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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