I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
