We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
