I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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