There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
