pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
