Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
