Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
