how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
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