i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
True strength comes from lack of pants
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
