if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
If I die, sorry about rent.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
