Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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