hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
