i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
