Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
is wine microwaveable?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
