ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
21 Reasons You’ll Be Forever Alone
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?