I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
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Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
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He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.