this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
How external is "for external use only"?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
