:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
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for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
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She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss