She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
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don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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