They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
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