I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
