You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Randomize
