If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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