I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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