what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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