Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
