I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
