I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
