we have officially lost it.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
