those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Too much gin, very little bucket
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
