booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
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