her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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