Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
