I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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