she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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