we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
