I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
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