cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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