Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
