btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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