i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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