idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
