I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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