If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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