I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Randomize
