So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Randomize
