Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
