I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Jerry, you need to find god
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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