hotel room ftw
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
