HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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