Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Randomize
